why is it so tough to maintain a special and heartfelt friendship;
&yet not fall into the traps of romance?
why weren't there enough trust between us to hold on to what we believe and promised?
a word unstraight doesn't end it all and its not an excuse.
how much more do you need me to emphasise heartfelt friends we shall be?
holding you close was the past; &i know i can't get near you now.
wasn't there enough cherishes to even maintain smth this special?
or perhaps we weren't meant to be, & you're not the special friend i'm looking for.
you seem to get on easy.
&perhaps everyth/everyone's the same to you.PERHAPS
i'd wish you'd prove me wrong.
-
i miss Giant=/
Love is just by caring & understanding;
just being there for each other on fair and bad weathers;
doing the little things that shows concern
and brightening one day.
that's what love means in friendship no?
-
All the world's a stage
And all the men and women
merely players.
They have their exits and
their entrances;
And one man in his time
plays many parts.
-
i just want to be someone there for you;
the person you think of when you need someone,
and the person you call when you need to rant.
i just want to be someone who cares for you;
the person who cheers you up everytime you're feeling down.
i just want to do my best in all, and not be a disappointment in any other way.
& this applies to all my best pals.
-
& will you be my bestie?
-
let this be our prayer
28th thursday..out at PS with sabby from 3 to 10; lazy to travel to harborfront so no sakae/no green tea ice cream):macho outing was cancelled): ah well.went starbucks for chocolate eclair but i ain't comparable to the one at delifrance. -poutsbut oh we did have lots of fun! at yamaha(: i like the lil piano clock! so prettaye=D&i bought right here waiting score((:then we watched night at the museum which got us laughing with the entire packed theatre(((:the extinguisher that somehow became whipp cream? lol. dumbdumb wants gumgum!and off for dinner; talked alot.bout the upsetting past as well as absurd crushes on thai guys=/ HAHHH-ohoh.we love thailand=D-29th friday..trng/lunch at pizza hut/library/home=D30th saturday..trng and home((:-resting; recuperating my arm(: everyth will get better and it'll be a better year ahead.just do it! (:okay.. i'll be in 3/o next year!; and it seems fun with people like...mayxuen, rena, huixin, parveen, yuting?, sonam and many others(: a fun class it will be!=D but will anyone be there to share my woes?wipe my tears?-
let this be our prayer
Strained/pulled some tissue/muscle in my left arm, it was awful.
a blocker that can't block=/ ah well. - .
and the rain made me slip a countless times and all the hurting bones in my legs.bleah.
have been pretty stressed up these days.
competitions weeks from now, what a time to hurt my arm. )):
-
kimmie; prolly its smth i would not understand,
but do be strong. hurt by someone you love so dearly, and trust ain't present/
do forgive.
just remember, i believe you, i trust all that u say,
& WE won't forsake u. i love you so...
God knows.
-
when satan reminds you of the past;
remind him of his future.
i'm not missing you; i'm not. there are somethings which i needn't know, and don't want to know. why the hell do i even go and find out?
and what the hell's got into me?
posting this in a drunk state; 40%of alcohol ain't me,
but i needed it so. let me be.
i wish time stand stills now; i need a break.
-
anyway; things cherished.
thanks seon for the mianbaochaoren=D
thanks kimmie for the YETBIGGEST pinwheel(:
& melanie for the advices and dolphin! thanks girl!
i love you my lil girl=D
-
i don't want to be d****e no more.
once.. always.. ; its all a lie.
but do call me baby one more time. i don't wish for the wrong.
let this be our prayer
DOLPHIN! its 2 days old now((:
peek-a-boo! us today=D
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
watched the holiday with kimberly, chantal, michh, mavis! (:
touching love stories, hilarious random stuffs C=
all's well other than the post movie syndrome=/ active tear gland? HAHH.
went starbucks! ate bananarama muffin with caramel frapp! =D
but we did have fun, under the rain. extraodinary christmas eve i guess.
sorry;
i know i'm a pretty in my own world person that made you sian-ned,
i'll change, i'll adapt, i'll be socialble(:
but never will i take away the barrier; can't afford to lose myself again.
-
next week's gonna be a busy one.
*got to do all the theory and stuffs; photoshop on monday.
*some planning and volleyball training at vjc; and 'shopping at popular on tuesday
*training and maybe watch charlotte's web on wednesday.
*prolly sentosa, sakae sushi with sab and (maybe kim&seon) ; sleepover on thursday
*training; sleepover on friday.
*training &iceskating? on saturday
-
this is the perfect plan; unsure if able to make it for all though(:
-
the new year's approaching; and everyth starts anew.
where the past cease to haunt.
time passes unbelievably quick and i'll be fifteen soon.
with new subjects, new teachers, new classmates.
resolutions for a better me; a smoother journey.
let this be our prayer
22nd was pretty weird to start off with but ended prettily(:training got me frightened; and i seriously prayed that coach was fine. yes, he replied today, saying he's okay. thank God. =D(for i fear the looks in the eyes of a leaving soul=/)went keat's house, lunch, chatted, playground, dinner, million treasures. (:had fun with pictures=D get well soon Huixin((: loves.we love MACHISMO! =D-23rd. just another training day? doing some rough job with heavy weights-.-i look like some clumpsy inexperience santa clause laa_-_but it was pretty fun? C=then out with kimmie(: haircut! whee! hehh.and there goes my pony tail again=/ hahh.a sad truth:i've got a big head! -pouts. but i'm feeling light & pretty happy;apart from a wounded finger, hurting knee caps, &unwell. _-_-
okay, i'll do a survey from yanhui.hmm..1.Single, taken or crushing?-- single2.Are you happy with your life now?-- i got to admit that i feel blessed(:3.When you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him/her fast?-- shrugs, yet to meet. but i do believe that love is a process.4.Have you ever been heartbroken?-- to a certain extent, yes.5. Do you believe that there are some circumstances, where cheating love is acceptable?-- depends, but no.6.Would you take someone back even if he/she cheats on you?-- if the person manage to melt the barrier between.; otherwise, no. 7.Have you talked about marriage to someone else before?-- i was still a little kid back then.8. Do you want children?-- yes, to make life perfect.9.How many?-- 4?=/10.Would you consider adoption?-- not really; for pet maybe? _-_11. If someone likes you now, what do you think is the best way for him/her to let you know his/her feelings?-- sincerity, patience, care & concern.12. Do you enjoy getting into relationships?-- that's if it last forever. in short, i don't.13. Do you believe in love at first sight?-- prolly.14. If you could get married somewhere, where would it be?-- somewhere simple with nature close.15. Do you give in easily when fighting?-- depends, but i usually do.16. Do you believe you can change someone?-- yes; for the better if possible.17. Do you have feelings for anyone now?-- nah. the time ain't right.18. Have you broken a heart?-- shrugs- i guess i did; but i hope not.19. Do you ever wished that you could have had someone but you messed it up?-- my deepest regret; friendships, yes. ):
20.If one day your best friend falls in love with the guy/girl you are deeply in love with, what will you do?-- i can't take the pressure; will prolly walk away & if he/she comes back to me, i'll know he/she's mine.21. Are you missing anyone ?-- uh huh; i guess so.22. Now you have to ask 5 friends to do this survey in their blog.alrights, let me think of 5 randoms. +1?-beeep!-bin big bro!-mavis-seon-haiyun-amanda-doubt anyone comes to my blog, so=/ ain't sure if anyone's gonna do it.
let this be our prayer
did anyone realised that i've walked out of the crowd in the midst of all thy happiness? & i'm seeking comfort in my piano;knowing that i'm different, knowing that the barrier musn't be taken off.
-If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come I'll realise
You're a loss I can't replace
Soledad
Walking down the streets of nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name
-
meimei and i jumped arnd in the puddles before & after training.left, right.. left *SPLASH! wwe had fun, the laughters, the tears of joy,and all the squeashy soaked feets=D she made me behave like i've never been, the little kid within me.thanks my little girl. ((:
-
RAIN.
down comes the rain,
washing away my pain.
these droplets form a melody,
a melody of the broken heart;
the puddles of sorrow,
the ripples of hurt that last for eternal.
but i love the rain, for it masked my tears,
down into the drain, goes my hidden fears.and yes, i wish the rain will never end.and i soaked my pillow again.-
let this be our prayer
home after four days in thailand.
i love the skirt i bought. ballerina-
prayed, shopped, watched transexual performance=/, eat, drinking beer, relax.what more can i ask for? (:
*alrights. teared on the plane=/
was watching this parting/music prodigy/korean movie=/
&i fear the turbulance.
the plane sinked as there were air pockets along the way.
sheese. doesn't matter, i don't see the point of being strong when no one's watching me.
& there, here i am , home again.
if only i could stay a little longer, go a little further;
nevertheless, i'm thankful for this break.
-
i'll let the pictures do the talking...
waiting for our luggages..
touched down at thailand- sq 064
the stuffs i got within an hour the first night(:
what i wore the first day.
day 2 (:
day 3(:
whee!drinking beer under the enchanting nightsky(:
WHITE CHOC DOLPHIN! =D
DARK CHOC GUITAR((:
-
i miss that humble place,
i miss the humble beings,
i miss doing things humbly,
i miss thailand, i miss suphanburi, i miss the hotel,
& i miss the handshake.
i miss the times spent,
i miss the place where nobody knows me,
where i knew nobody,
where i walk through the streets like i've always lived there,
where i live day by day with no dread,
and no regret.
-
anw, i think the day book @ 2359 is very meaningful((:
-
sometimes i ponder, if all is the process of growing up;
am i putting too much effort in living in well since i'll pass this stage in time to come?
i'm tired of reminding myself what NOT to do.
for all that happen, God has His reasons.
let this be our prayer
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky,
you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
-
i'll let no one see the pain in my eyes,i'll let no one see the tear roll down,i'll let no one see the weak girl in this big body.but deep within, you know i'm afraid.
let this be our prayer
i'll be away for the several days. (((:okay, i'm getting some plane frights now=/ take care people- beep* , yanhui jie?;P , the5, the 10ofus.and all the best volleyballers for the next 3 matches((:-stumbled upon stuffs, or to say i went to read it on purpose,this time, i looked at everyth in a whole new perspective,and i realise, how naive i was, how absurd everyth seems.-perhaps friendship shouldn't have much love to talk about,we don't own them,perhaps krist's right, girls school is LAME.and the talks about neglecting each other,all the dumb squabbles of us not doing enough for each other.& i know i'm lame.-i won't ask you to stay;i'd rather walk away.forsaken- & i'm afraid, i really am i won't allow anyone see the tear roll down my face.
-
i wish i won't be back,does it matter anyway?
let this be our prayer
雨天
作词:小寒 作曲:李伟菘
站在十字路的交点 该怎么走
我却只想回头 除了你给的伞
我再也没有别的借口 去拥有你的什么
你能体谅我有雨天 偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些 大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步会慢一些 如此坚决
你却越来越远
牵手和分手来自同一双手
作回朋友 我却悔恨不懂挽留
你能体谅我有雨天 偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些 大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现谁能体谅我的雨天
所以情愿回你身边 此刻脚步会慢一些 如此坚决
你却越来越远是否太晚 路已走远
我的眼眶泪太满 走不回你身边
你能体谅我有雨天
偶尔胆怯你都了解过去那些 大雨落下的瞬间
我突然发现谁能体谅我的雨天
此刻脚步会慢一些如此坚决
你却越来越远
-
happen to hear this on the car;
and it hit me hard.
i wonder why.i need a cry, i need a shoulder, i need a caring arm, and one to wipe my tears.-everythg has been well;and i love spending every little time with mom& family.playing volleyball and doing homework,piano and just piano.but there's smth weighing me down.shrugs- it was my aunty's birthday yesterday(: yes, called over to philliphines but i'm worried because of the typhoon.i miss her, real bad):-i'm going to play basketball with my primary school friends tmr! =D& i've got a hurting back and bleeding finger)): -i'll still rejoice and pray to have that burden lifted off for it christmas! and nth is impossible(:
let this be our prayer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUTISTIC PARTNER! =Dwhoots! today was fun! (:first, we had lunch at mos; then safra to play pool! guess the autiti game lasted real long=/hahh.the ball JUMPS! like JUMP! hahh.then off to swensons! korkor and i shared some pasta& sundae!then the BEAR! whee! yesyes! the BEAR=Dyanhui.mujia.inez.ella! <333BBY.AUTITI.DADDY.TWINNE! =D-then off early & went for my volleyball match with nanyang poly(:went well, won.yepps. -hahh. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUTITI! <3>
i hope you had fun, i certainly did.
keep this day, as memories not forgotten.((:
for you'll only be 15 once!
-
have been spending much time with friends,
heartfelt friends i've drifted so far away with,
just because of my selfishness,
because i was too held up by unnecessary senseless thoughts.
i've cleared the saturation,
is there time for me to make up for all that i've lost,
all that i once refuse to give?
many days, many stuffs,
much time spent tgt so far,
and the aloofness is still so distinct.
i'll be patient, i'll wait. i'll show you bit by bit.
-
&i'm pretty HAPPY this week.(((:
-
highlights of my piano: when you tell me you love me,
untitled, you raise me up, a very special day, some romeo and juliet song?
let this be our prayer
6th.bby;a simple phone call, made my heart skip a beat.its been so long since i've heard you over the line,and i do appreciate hearing from you.and all the random stuffs we say & talk about.it brought joy and comfort to me, if you didn't realise.(: loves.-7th.a surprisingly great 7th today; after all the months.apart from edwin who said i put on weight when i met him downstairs):went out with melanie meimei to bugis then to cityhall.where she went with her church friends at TCC and i left with Sabrina.sorry for not coming back to find u=/ but i did enjoy your company(:-Roamed all around with sabby at MARINASQUARE again!lol.arcade for a short while, shopped arnd for her stuffs.ate shihlin, currypuffs, SAKAE=D GREEN TEA ICE CREAM IS NICE! <3im really thankful that everyth is all well and fine between us now,after all the cold, long war we had unintentionally.we drifted, i teared bad. but all's so fine now(:glad you've asked me out today((:i'll be there for your grandarrival from your mission trip in thailand.meanwhile, bonvoyage and take care.-will be out bowling, pooling, & swensons! with yanhui, ella, inez, pinghui to celebrate AUTITI's birthday! <3>
and off to KACC for volleyball championship, a match outdoor at night! whee-
=D
-
lets continue frolicing all week & turn the music up loud!
for the sun will continue to rise,
and the stars will not cease to shimmer.
there's still light behind the clouds,
so never fear the cloudy days.
-
undaunted by setbacks,
bravely we'll ride the waves.
With grave resolve,
we'll spur each other on.
let this be our prayer
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCELO! =D our youngest macho! <3
half a week has passed, done pretty much (:
was out with ella all day on sat2nd, at MARINASQUARE again! we bowled(:
then went to parkway to meet ms goh for caroling prac though we left halfway=D
yepp yepp! reached home late but yes; we had fun.
stay happy TWINNIE!
-
monday mugged with melanie though we spent more time chatting and discussing bout everyth from volleyball to personal matters.
mushroom.szewaiy.melanie&i
so much fun spent tgt; just speaking.
-
TUESDAY 5th!
REJOICE! met up with 5/7 of my primary 6-1 04' clique.
MARINASQUARE &bugis. yes. me and my marina(:
hehh. watched
Deck the Halls!
its christmas! everyth is possible((:
- we will be seen from space! <3
so much we have gone thru together,
all caught up and remembered this day.
all that we've shared;
all the silly things we always do;
that never fail to fume the teachers;
we all brought it up today.
i miss you all! the times spent real simple&tranquil.
i miss the old school building;
the times we had at the long jump pit,
the games of crocodile,
the times where we would walk in a straight line back up to class,
though we were very late for lessons.
hahh. and both head and asst. head prefects were part of us! =D
defiant, but bonded.
silly but happy.
& i really love you all.
i dream of us, running wildly in our pinafores,
monkeying on the monkey bars;
roughing it out on the bball courts.
everyth we do, i'll never forget.
-
iLOVEthe7. joycelee, kristine, linda, jiahui, meryl, eileen.
-
it'll be an amazing friendly match with 5 schools tmr with our jersey & team bag(:
and shopping with my lil girl the day after &
SATURDAY WOULD BE GREAT! 9th! <3
-
and i'll be off to thailand soon! SHOP till i DROP! =D my 10+ trip there?
let this be our prayer
i am happy & i won't fret.
for the more one gets; the more one wants.
-
The Blue Day Book
Everybody has blue days.
These are miserable days when you feel lousy,
grumpy, lonely,
and utterly exhausted.
Days when you feel small and insignificant,
when everything seems just out of reach.
You can't rise to the occasion.
Just getting started seems impossible.
On blue days you can become paranoid that everyone is out to get you.
You feel frustrated and anxious,
which can induce a nail-biting frenzy
that can escalate into a triple-chocolate-mud-cake binge in a blink of an eye!
On blue days you feel like you're floating in an ocean of sadness/
You're about to burst into tears at any moment and you don't even know why.
Ultimately, you feel like you're wandering through life without purpose.
You're not sure how much longer you can hang on,
and you feel like shouting
"Will someone please shoot me!"
It doesn't take much to bring on a blue day.
You might just wake up not feeling or looking your best,
find some new wrinkles,
put on a little weight,
or get a huge pimple on your nose.
You mgiht get dumped, divorces, or fired,
make a fool of yourself in public,
be afflicted with a demeaning nickname,
or just have a plan old bad-hair day.
Maybe work is a pain in the butt.
You're under majoy pressure to fill someone else's shoes,
your boss is picking on you,
and everyone in the office is driving you crazy.
You might have a splitting headache,
or a slipped disk,
bad breath, a toothache,
chronic has, dry lips, or a nasty ingrown toenail.
Whatever the reason, you're convinced that someone up there doesn't like you.
Oh what to do, what to dooo?
Well, if you're like most people,
you'll hide behind a flimsy belief that eveyth will sort itself out.
Then you'll spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder,
waiting for everything to go wrong all over again.
All the while becoming crusty and cynical,
or a pathetic, sniveling victim.
Until you get so depressed that you lie down and beg the earth to swallow you up
or, even worse, become addicted to Billy Joel songs.
This is crazy, because you're only young once
and never old twice.
Who knows what fantastic things are in store just around the corner?
After all the world is full of amazing discoverries,
things you can't even imagine now.
There are delicious, happy sniffs
and scrumptious snacks to share.
Sounds good, doesn't it?
But wait, there's more!
There are handstands and games to play
and yoga and karaoke
and wild, crazy, bohemian dancing.
But best of all, there's romance.
Which means long dreamy stares,
whispering sweet nothings,
cuddles, smooches
and more smooches,
a frisky love bite or two.
how blissful(:
First, stop slinking away from all those nagging issues.
It's time to face the music.
Just relax and take some deep breaths.
Or go for a walk to clear your head.
Accept the fact that you'll have to let go of some emotional baggage.
Try seeing things from a different perspective.
Maybe you're actually the one at fault.
If that's the case, be big enough to say you're sorry(its never too late to do this).
Be proud of who you are, but don't lose the ability to laugh at yourself.
Live every day as if it were your last,
because one day it will be.
Don't be afraid to bite off more than you can chew.
Take big risks.
Never hang back. Het out there and go for it.
After all, isn't that what life is all about?
i think so too.
-
the illustrations in this book's beautiful,
especially the dolphins! =D
let this be our prayer
If i can overcome it once,
i can do it once more(:
everyth has been going on pretty well.
uch time spent on volleyball, gym;
and the matches kept me all exhausted physically.
but it does feel great to sweat it out too. (:
life made simple and the little conversations and teasing we had,
is all that i need. ...feeling light`
we can't make everyone happy, nor carry all burdens;
just don't make anyone sad.
it was volleyball farewell bbq yesterday and it will be bowling,
shop for present, caroling practice today! =D w twinnie!
-
yesterday was fun, more of a bonding session than that of a farewell.
thanks for accompanying me bby, feeling your presence<3
merried though i went that at 9pluspm?
hahh.& i love BERNICE! <3
we chatted a great deal by the breakwaters, with music.
the stars weren't bright, but there were many. =D
and all the chirpy cheery chatters with mates are great!
mushroom.szewaiy.kim.ju.peishi.chantal :))
-
fetched chantal and peishi home.
with the windows wound down, and hear the chatters,
feel the wind carressing my face,
hear the tunes from love memories and let the childhood memories surface.
-
i am happier than before (((:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SZE WAIY & DADDY! =D
let this be our prayer
DOLPHIN! its 2 days old now((: