Isn't anyone trying to find me?

I pray you'll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don't know

Let this be our prayer
When we lose our way

Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

I pray we'll find your light
And hold it in our hearts
When stars go out each night
Eternal light will shine

Let this be our prayer
When we lose our way

Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we'll be safe

lin xin
11o41992
~~cedar primary~~`cedar girls
volleyball`track-[throws]

MYDREAMS/wishlists-
3 , 5 ,7 TENofus.
some overseas trip that lasts for weeks/months
mission trip to third world countries
a world embraced with hugs, kisses and smiles.
专署天使，（还在等待那个人）
untie the knot and be socialble?(:
just being happy and fufilling the dreams. -
material wants=/
1000piece dolphin jigsaw, a dog, a guitar&violin, a keyboard, ipl, the little pig!
C=D if only i could get them all. hahh-

November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

say a little prayer.

i pray and pray;

till my prayers are heard.

thank God.

for the tranquility,

the friends,

my dear,

the comfort

the love.

peace.

may your finger heal dear(: together with my thumb- grins

let this be our prayer

Saturday, August 26, 2006

expressing my thoughts;
through writings;
through songs;
through creating poems;
through music.
-
im shut out of my emotions,
i choose to do what childrens/students are 'SUPPOSE' to do.
-
we'll all grow up and out of it somehow,
people come and goes,
and all will soon fade of with time,
so will the memories.
-
im sorry to those i've hurt.
im thankful for those who've hurt me for it'll just make me stronger.
im grateful for those who cares.
im here for those who needs me.
-
won't be posting in the near future,
as you can see... ...
im posting nonsence(:
-
time passing to fast for me to grasp.
prolly its just the same process everyone goes thru,
just how you make use of these few decades.
-
till im back again;
thank God.

let this be our prayer

):
i can't trust you;
i try and i try, but i failed to.
how do you expect me to,
when you yourself found another.
prolly that's just your facade,
but pls, take it off, take it off.
-
im tired;
its just not time to show myself.
im simply too vulnerable now.

prolly it takes alot to trust again,

to believe that what i see ain't true.
~~im afraid of the upcoming week;~~
~~the tests , the chalet , the cold nights ahead.~~
will you be thr to watch the sunrise and set,
to gaze at the shimmering stars with me?
~~will the feeling remain the same? i wonder.~~

will you wait for me, guide me, love me, embrace me, give me warmth?

will you be there to love me when the sunrises tmr?
it takes greater courage to step out of fear than to live in/with it.
-
to you:
im sorry for the empty promises i've made,
im sorry to have let you down.
i can't forget the times we share,
you know i can't.
you know part of me is missing, with you.
prolly its fate i can't find torto.
-
this vicious cycle isn't gonna end,
at least not in the near future.
-
THE PINWHEEL HAS CEASE TO SPIN.

here i am, insecure again.

back is the fear; back are the tears; here comes the hollowness; there goes my love. the moment you left. ):

won't be posting in the near future...

let this be our prayer

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

guess it was all over,

the moment the pinwheel cease to spin.

you stabbed me,

my heart's bleeding

and the best you could do,

was to pierce it through

further, deeper.

thanks InezDADDY, AUTITI, TWINNIE, OWNER for today(:

your accompaniment really matters<3

amanda my CHOWCHOW ;p

joy boyfriend

tweety bird

xiao yao

meryl darling

fat mama

melanie meimei

beeppie.

hubby<3

and those above(:

machogirls.

vballers.

and others, you know who you are(:

thanks for being there(:

loves.

walked past my childhood lane just moments ago,

walked past his house, his house, his house & her house.

all 4 of them.

the place whr we'll skate thru daily.

imissyouall,ireallydo.):

let this be our prayer

Friday, August 18, 2006

everythg's crashing down.

i've learnt to let go,

learn to understand.

learn to give you freedom,

learn to be just friends.

it's you,

who wants to tear me apart,

to a unrecognisable state,

to a state that can never be mended.

do you know how much my back's killing me?

do you know how my ankle's killing me?

do you know that it hurts worrying all day?

all this i wonder.

im tired. i really am.

im ailing evrywhr,

hurting as badly physically.

but i choose to pray,

to pray for all my love ones,

to pray that you'll all be strong,

brace up and move on.

all this i pray.

oh ~~baby~~dear, won't you tell me why,

there is sadness in your eyes.

no matter what i am to you,

rmb that i'll always be here,

your pillar always.

people come and go.

just live life to its fullest.

everything that comes,will go somehow someday.

the hurt might fade, but so will the happiness.

they'll fly away altogether

&all left will be an empty shell again.

i can't promise how long i'll be here for evryone arnd.

i can't promies that i won't falter, crumble and cease to exist.

i can't. promises are lies. sweet words means nth, they're just fake.

sweet talkings are nth but just so cliche.

they all add up to the perils of life.

this post may hurt, this post seems harsh. im sorry.

im really tired, really disappointed.

i've got lots to do, i shouldn't be here.

don't force me to let this go, u know i can't.

x-ray tmr? i wonder.. im not gg!

PAINKILLERS-

ANAESTHETIC JAB BADLY NEEDED.

LET ME POP IN SOME SLEEPING PILLS PLS!

2212.

should i be replying msgs? i wonder

let this be our prayer

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

15th august-
out to study with twinnie and autistic partner. (:
sometime since i really smiled. loves
16th august-
school? i was feeling weak, feverish and unwell?
doubt anyone realised it anyway.
there were a HUGE SWARM of bees/flies? i dono.
was busy looking after NICOLETTE(: geehee-
lit. test was fine, maths was.. un-important? lol.
-
then school ended.
met shiang nee! she made me smile too(:
with DUCK. can't wait to see duck2 tmr(: hehh.
it absorbed my tears, my sweat, my drool? i dono=/ hehh.
stayed at the comlab for some time. it was cold in there, really cold, within and outside.
i wonder why.
nvm bout that, nsn sang a whole new world for me(:
geehee- meaningful, melodious(:
im sorry but i've forgotten the lyrics=/ hehh.
but yeah. loves
-
cheer up lovelys.
Melanie meimei & BLABB P. BEEEP*
my shoulder's here, always(:
i'll wipe all e tears. loves.
-
i can't wait for teacher's day,
i want to go back pri school just for a few moments.
i MISS THEM, i really do.loves
hubby!lets go back together no? GEEHEE-
dear, will u go back with me for a short while.. pls..
like before we leave for chalet?
-
misses you dear.
loves<3>
hope today was fine for you no?
huggs.holding on to you,
i don't wanna let you go.
love u, now and forever.
like always! (:
muchlove and MORElove just for you<3
-
can someone plan an outing for the 7ofus? loves
machogirls outing! (: geehee- the 10ofus. (: LOVES
-
thought alot bout what ms poon, other teachers and coach said.
i know i've neglected my dreams,
forsake-d my goals, my aims, my friends.
i went astray, my attitude wasn't good.
im sorry for all,
but i'll change for the better alrights?
give me time, bit by bit, i'll be back on track <3 -
-
GEEHEE- the time right now is 1943(:

let this be our prayer

Monday, August 14, 2006

what has happened for the past few days/weeks/months?

can someone fill me in?

new perspective of love, of life.

happiness is probably found in the process of giving,

of being able to provide,

being able to make someone smile(:

to be able to give and expect nth in return.

i'll give them all.

people come and go,

some leaves footprints,

~~though some are so deep that they cause bleeding.~~

some don't.

i'd just like to touch lives of those around me,

bring them joy,

give them hope,

care and share.

had meeting till 5+ today,

goal setting, announcement of co-ord. and captains.

inspiring talks.

coach was unhappy, reprimanded, disappointed, pissed with me?

nvm- it's alright. numbness drives them away.

i've neglected my friends,

i've lost my fighting spirit,

lost my goals, my targets, my dream of being an outstanding runner; a fine athlete.

i've been missing in action, too distracted and lost into my own world.

that i've forgotten my dreams,

all that i've been working for.

time for me to wake up and realise them.

time that i work hard, stay focus

and get my priorities right.

all my aspirations i had since i was a lil kid.

psychologist, social worker, fine athlete

i've got lots of things to complete,

they're piling up.

time management, no more procrastination;

no more dwellings, no more drifting away. all this i hope

anyway, i need a break.

ice skating? with the 5/6/7 whatever.

and outing with my loves(ryl,nai...).

don't wish to use physical pain to numb the emotional pain anymore.

slowly, i'll discard that bad habit,

but i can't promises the 10 won't rot by then=/

sadistic it seems=/

HEAL THE WORLD; MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE

i love you, now and forever. dear<3

[b.t.b.t]<3

let this be our prayer

what has happened for the past few days/weeks/months?

can someone fill me in?

new perspective of love, of life.

happiness is probably found in the process of giving,

of being able to provide,

being able to make someone smile(:

to be able to give and expect nth in return.

i'll give them all.

people come and go,

some leaves footprints,

~~though some are so deep that they cause bleeding.~~

some don't.

i'd just like to touch lives of those around me,

bring them joy,

give them hope,

care and share.

had meeting till 5+ today,

goal setting, announcement of co-ord. and captains.

inspiring talks.

coach was unhappy, reprimanded, disappointed, pissed with me?

nvm- it's alright. numbness drives them away.

i've neglected my friends,

i've lost my fighting spirit,

lost my goals, my targets, my dream of being an outstanding runner; a fine athlete.

i've been missing in action, too distracted and lost into my own world.

that i've forgotten my dreams,

all that i've been working for.

time for me to wake up and realise them.

time that i work hard, stay focus

and get my priorities right.

all my aspirations i had since i was a lil kid.

psychologist, social worker, fine athlete

i've got lots of things to complete,

they're piling up.

time management, no more procrastination;

no more dwellings, no more drifting away. all this i hope

anyway, i need a break.

ice skating? with the 5/6/7 whatever.

and outing with my loves(ryl,nai...).

don't wish to use physical pain to numb the emotional pain anymore.

slowly, i'll discard that bad habit,

but i can't promises the 10 won't rot by then=/

sadistic it seems=/

HEAL THE WORLD; MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE

i love you, now and forever. dear<3

[b.t.b.t]<3

let this be our prayer

Thursday, August 10, 2006

a semi-permeable membrane has formed;

it has blurred my vision,

numbed my thoughts.

it doesn't allow me to face reality;

yet it doesn't allow me to drift nor take the leap.

for those whom i love and vice versa, ican't leave.

this agony within is getting so unbearable.

but yet;

i'll seem fine.

but who knows what exactly's gg on deep within?

Derisived by delusions.

let bygones be bygones.

but a mended shattered heart will never be perfect again.

it'll have scars, too many of them.

it'll break and crumble again with the slightest touch.

my soul flew away;

all left are nightmares in an empty hollow shell.

i should be off, away for some time.

i need to recover,

but it won't be complete somehow.

sorry people.

adeus.

[b.t.b.t]

[bearie.torto.birpie.twiggie<3]

let this be our prayer

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

kimmie,

thanks for today once again.(:

met at aljunied, then went cityhall.

had loads of fun, shopping, babbling.

that's what blabbering partners are for!

apparantly, i saw moo moos evrywhr, and it hurts.

oh wells.

then, we caught a movie- click

i love it.

hilarious,sad,set me thinking,cried,laughed.

i was thinking bout u, guess u don't know? its ok

bought adidas shirt,

magnetic bears, water bottle.

BEEP has the bottle and bear too(:

<3>

i'll be here, i promise.

there's a distant now;

a distant that's pretty tough to get back;

the aloofness;

no one can bridge it.

i did worry,

that our points of view are different.

that's when i got insecure,

and doubt.

but you assured me,

time and time again,

assuring that my thoughts are real,

are true.

but apparantly not.

i feel like a chemical

from a broken bottle in the lab,

my shell;

my comfort zone;

my embrace are shattered.

evaporating away,

bit by bit

but surely,

i'll be gone.

never to be seen again.

let this be our prayer

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I open my eyes

I try to see but

I'm blinded

By the white light

I can't remember how

I can't remember why

I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain

And I can't make it go away

No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this lifeI

just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?

Everybody's screaming

I try to make a sound

But no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge

I'm hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto

A time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened

And I can't erase the things that I've done

No I can't

How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes

Got no where to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me?

why do i see ur presence everywhr?

you left too many traces, and i can't seem to erase.

give me the courage, how long more must i wait for You to bring me back home?

im tired God, i really am.

muster my courage,

just for that final leap.

fall on my knees, i beg u for that courage.

Goodbye

Sayonara

Adeus, Bella Morena.

what a tragedy):

let this be our prayer

started off my day, really low.
eye bags, puffy face, swollen eyes.i can't escape.
10oofus.though not all are present, glad that i have u all around.
i was low, inferior, troubled. but oh u seem all so fine, good for you then
they made me high, made me smile.
-
all the tears in class.
whr were you?
you're not even capable of drying e tears.
scram-
-
vjc. friendly match.
had fun. but was i really happy? i wonder.
-
east coast.
my bp`
we lay on the big rock,
star gaze, moon gaze, fascinated by the nightsky.
feel the 'sea breeze'? caressing on our faces.
emo-ing. i'll post the pics some other days.
nv felt so free, so light for so long.
thanks beep` though someone ruined my mood again. oh well.
then amanda came along,
caught the lil bit of fireworks which emerged above the trees.
that got us high somehow.
thanks beep` that's the only thing im looking forward to chalet.
seriously, can i give it a skip? bleahh-
thanks for today(:
(shall upload the pics some other day)
-
amanda was really humourous,
or rather hilarious?
chowchow became a dog?
and she actually said that the radio smells good? =D
oh ya.she treated us to Gelare, my first dine out thr(:
thanks too(:
-
FOOL AGAIN-
Baby, I know the story,
I've seen the picture,
it's written all over your face

Tell me, what's the secret that you've been hiding?
And who's gonna take my place?

I should haveseen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Chorus: Can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end,
how was I to know?
You never told me

Can't believe that I'm the fool again,
and I who thought you were my friend,
how was I to know?
You never told me Baby,
you should've called me, w
hen you were lonely,
when you needed me to be there

Sadly, you never gave me
to many chances to show you how much I care
Ooh, should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Chorus About the pain and the tears Ooh,
If I could, I would, turn back the time
Ooh yeah I should have seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Chorus to fade

let this be our prayer

Monday, August 07, 2006

the fearsome silence;

im tired, i really am.

~~self manipulate,~~

the scars of emotional pain.

sorry, i can't control myself.

each passing day,

im drifting further and further away.

i'm not capable of practising what i preach,

what a loser,

i can't contain the fear,

i can't hide the disappointment.

im lost, im stucked between, im a goner.

let this be our prayer

Sunday, August 06, 2006

a part of me has gone missing;
i've lost myself,

while trying to catch up with life;
i got numb,
while trying to accept reality.

haunted by the past,
chasing the present,
the future seems bleak.

bewildered by family,
the aloofness of me and the world,
the fear of losing you,
it all seems so unbearable.

perils in my dream,
i dare not think
of the impending heartache.

~~if you were to leave~~,
i'll learn to let go,
bit by bit,
till my heart cease to beat.

~~if you were to leave~~,
i'll probably lock myself up,
like never before,
and never to fall in love again.

for i can't find another like you.

iloveu.

this dilemma shall fade away,

we shall be lead by grace,

along a clear path to a place,

where we'll be sure, really sure,

that this love is real. in our paradise it will<3

let this be our prayer

Saturday, August 05, 2006

04/08
-
2.4,lessons,remedial,training,piano and met WENJIA!(:
she looks rather intellectual now with that patriotic specs.
we caught up, alot(: and i realised how much i miss that lil sister of mine(:
geehee- bought birthday present for kelly and we ate dinner real late! =/
yepp.will be meeting up with her on national day.
so that's real soon.hopefully kelly can join us too(:
-
05/08
didn't go out as planned,
wasn't in the mood,
was feeling rather lethargic.
eat,sleep,eat,sleep. feigning sleep on bed.
i wonder why?
did i sense a crisis?
i dono.
-
i don't know why, i don't know how.
how does all these awful and undesirable fear come about,
why are we affected time and time again.
prolly this ain't an easy path to take,
neither does it seem right to many.
however, rest assured that tis love is right,
so real so genuine. at least to me it is

i don't want this to end,
didn't u promise we'll hold on,
didnt u promise we'll walk towards our paradise.
hand in hand, we'll fulfil the dreams.
they seem so near but yet so far.
tell me u'll walk me thr and stay with me,
tell me they're all reachable with love.

we're approaching that day,
e day i'll hand you e key,
though u know you've own it since 2 months ago.
would like to see u have e stars, e dolphins, e key with you.
don't lose them, don't lose my heart
don't leave them aside, don't leave me alone.
don't cast them in a dark corner of your wardrobe,
don't forsake me.
i love you dear, i really do.<333

let this be our prayer

Thursday, August 03, 2006

2.4 tmr_-_ i should have taken out my shoes from the locker and sun it, shouldn't i?
bleah.. i forgotten): and it's been in the locker since my javelin nationals.
fungus? mouldy? i daren't think.

`beep* don't dwell on my posts! -

sorry for today.
i was highly wrong up in my mind.
i got so low. i wonder why.

anyway, i decided to blog, before studying(:
tummy's not well today, and i skipped lunch=/
guess i'm over pressuring myself.
HUIXIN! , GET WELL SOON!

chinese teacher told us a story, and i decided to post my version(:

carve my love for you;

my gratitude to all my love ones;

my happiness, my joy;

the kindness;

my motivations;

the fond memories;

the dreams fulfiled

on the rock.

& as time pass,

this memories forever

etched close to my heart;

times and kindness, never forgotten

write the hatred;

the sadness;

the disappointments;

the insult;

the awful past

on the sand

& let it vanish with the waves,

never to be mentioned again.

rejuvenated along with the breeze(:

loves<33>

fulfilled dreams as fond memories,

paradise as a comfort zone whr love blossoms

& deeper dreams kept in view. =D <3s>dear

let this be our prayer

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

a short day, but im floating away.
my body can contain the fear no more,
e glands can contain the tears no more,
however i can't get myself to love you no more.
-
had piano practical today.
i screwed my scales,
i've got no idea,
i didn't put my soul and spirit into the music,
till i played the song dedicated to you.
shan't dwell, shan't regret, for it's all over.
hopefully i'll pass altogether.
thanks HUBBY, KEATLI , seon for the well wishes.(:
-
anyway, i brought torto in! if only i can bring bearie along-
-GEEHEE, loves the 10 of you who brightened me.<3
and bby. (:
-
nights are so unkind w/o you.
i'll contain the sorrows,
i'll forget the disappointments.
i'll practise selective hearing,
filtering e words that enter my ears.
-
somehow, all the unhappiness perish;
all the tears disappears;
and vanish is my fears;
when i hold you in my arms.
probably this is just another hurdle we're clearing,
just some turbulance faced,
its just our love put to test.
`
i'll stand strong, hold on to faith,
i'll believe and yearn,
for the desire won't change,
neither will my heart,
neither will my love for u,
for they won't waver.
`
i'll wait, wait for you,
for its my lifetime commitment,
i'll wait for eternity,
for you i will.
`
looking forward to the few moments evryday,
whr i'll indulge in ur presence,
and hold you close;
and shower you with ~~kisses~~ love<33
i love you my dear, now and forever.<333
misses you, your kisses, your beam, your presence.
-

Home

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

Maybe surrounded byA million people
IStill feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm,
I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with meBut this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded byA million people
IStill feel aloneOh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my runBaby,
I'm doneI gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
-
let you go home,
it does hurt,it really does
i believe our heart's still merged,
i believe we're bonded by a certain chemistry-love<3
`
in our love story,
thr may be commas,
but never a fullstop.
our paradise; our dreams
and it's just so semplice and dolce
<333 size="1">dear

let this be our prayer